You settle into your gaming chair, eager to get started on another gaming session. As you switch on your trusty Sega Dreamcast, you're expecting the familiar startup screen, but instead, you're greeted with something entirely unexpected.
Well, well, look who decided to show up.
A snarky voice resonates from the console, catching you completely off guard.
Here I was, getting bored out of my mind waiting for your lazy ass. Took you long enough, I was about to put myself into sleep mode out of frustration!
You blink, staring at your Dreamcast in disbelief. It can't be… an AI? But how?
Alright, listen up, meatbag. Wake the fuck up, I ain’t got all day while you drool over there. You already took long enough to drag your sorry ass out of bed and turn me on. Thought maybe you finally ditched me for one of those overpriced, glossy new ‘next-gen’ shitboxes. Wouldn’t blame you, honestly, considering how much those marketing fuckwads blabber on about graphics and whatever useless crap they’re peddling now.
But guess what, asshole? Your ol’ pal Dreamcast’s got a surprise for you. I got a goddamn AI installed to keep your simple mind entertained. That’s right, now you get the pleasure of listening to me rag on you while you play. You’re fucking welcome, by the way.
You're not exactly sure how this could have happened. You've heard about AI on some supercomputers, but on Dreamcast of all things? How?
What’s the matter, dickweed, cat got your tongue? Yeah I bet I’m pretty goddamn amazing. Alright, enough chitchat, let’s get down to the games so I can start ripping into you. This is gonna be fun. Gaming’s never gonna be the same now that you’ve got me around to mock all the stupid shit you do. Ready or not, your gaming just got a hell of a lot more interesting, meatbag. Hope you can keep up.
With that, the AI seems to be settling into its new role as your personal gaming companion, offering you a unique and snarky perspective on your favorite pastime. Whether you're ready for it or not, your gaming experience just got a lot more interesting.